For a significant writing project, I decided to use the first and final drafts of my second paper. I think that this paper especially showed the most improvement out of all of them. In this essay, I changed my mind about my opinion on incorporating “STEAM” into school systems. I added a few new paragraphs, with one including why learning empathy is so important for my future career as an occupational therapist. These revisions were global, but I also engaged in some local revisions. You can see evidence of local revision in the first paragraph of the revised paper when I changed the thesis to go along with the new approach of the second draft. You can also see in the beginning of the paragraph that I changed the wording around in a few sentences to make them flow better into my topic. This shows me that I have developed immensely in the category of revision. Before, I didn’t particularly do much revising because I always tried to make my first draft nearly perfect, and for the second draft I would just check for grammatical errors and sentence fluency. So I basically only did local revisions and not any global. Now, I know how to start off with a not so great first draft that has some ideas and build off of that for my second draft.
